Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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