I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think i have two assholes
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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