Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
