The maid of honor just puked.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize