there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
