i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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