I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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