im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
organizing the empties. That sober.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
