This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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