Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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