I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
