I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
