no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
