dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just cropdusted the office
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need to align my fucking chakras
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