Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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