It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
