When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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