I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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