It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
