Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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