She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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