windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm like, not good at living.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
