But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I will be naked everywhere
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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