Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
