Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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