thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
