I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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