Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
