YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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