that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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