I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
3pm strippers are depressing
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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