The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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