We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
