omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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