State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
