New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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