You really coming over, don't trick.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How external is "for external use only"?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
