If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
