Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
