And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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