Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
