Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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