do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize