new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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