I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
