my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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