My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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