Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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