i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
