I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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