and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I fill condoms, not promises.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
