we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
