omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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