glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
