his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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