In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
